We're Not Here
by BullardCR
Summary: The demons in her life were washed away in the bloodshed, but what about his? Can she help him through? Oneshot. Title based on a song from Miami Vice2006


I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**We're Not Here:**

Asuka walked up behind Shinji in her red bathrobe, and stroked his back firmly as he stood, hunched over the porcelain sink. He flinched at first from her touch, but as she applied more pressure, he eased into her caresses, his torso rocking in motion with her arms. The wounds were still there, the circular imprints of where the spikes had respectively impaled Unit-01. Shinji's face pulled into a wrinkled frown as he let out a grunt every time her hands touched the scars.

"It's okay," Soryu whispered into his ears. "No one's here. You don't have to be macho and hold it back if you don't want to." The surviving Ikari shook his head, however. No, he made that mistake before, showing his emotions. All that got him was being locked in a detention cell in the recesses of NERV for months on end, tortured until he learned to cope with pain. That was, until the guard slipped up, and let the boy get to his gun. In the succeeding muzzle flash, Shinji Ikari went straight to manhood, with all the vices that helped him run from reality.

"You'll just use me, like they did," he hissed under his breath. Before Asuka could shoot back with an argument, the Third Child grabbed the opened bottle of whiskey, and upended the bottle in his mouth. The deep swig cleared, or rather, burned the sinuses open, and rolled back along his tongue, scorching his palette on the way down. "I went through three months of torture, all to learn _this_ is the way to blot out the pain receptors." Shinji held the bottle up to the girl's line of sight, before taking another swig. Again the burning palette sensations both distracted him and dehydrated him, making him crave more of the caustic liquid.

Soryu snatched the bottle from his hand, yanked it out of his mouth, and thew it into the fiberglass shower enclosure, the container shattering into thousands of tiny fragments. "Listen to yourself! We've been living together like this for nearly a year! We just fought our way out of Instrumentality, and made it through something no one else in the world could! You're telling me you still won't trust me?"

It was then Shinji pulled the .32 ACP autoloader out from the small of the back holster on his khaki shorts, setting the weapon in front of Asuka's hands. "I sleep with this every night we are together, did you know that?" Soryu froze, recalling the odd habit Shinji had of keeping his right hand underneath his pillow in the queen sized bed of Misato's old room. "What?" he asked. "The thought I'm this close to shooting you every night not turn you on?"

Asuka had settled down some since Instrumentality. This must be indicated, otherwise, her immediate reaction could not be understood. There was a closeness between the two of them, or at least Asuka felt closer to Shinji after Instrumentality. Apparently, that closeness was not reciprocated. As such, the redhead started to wrap her hands around the boy again, setting her head between his shoulder blades. It was some minutes later, when she finally accepted her own advice she gave Ikari, that she allowed the tears to run down his spine.

"Why do you bother trying to fix me?" Shinji asked, his voice rigid and flat.

"I don't want to fix you," Asuka whimpered. "I just want you to be human again."

"I was human before," he answered. "You didn't like the human Shinji. You wanted your invincible hero."

"I didn't want some kind of prime time cop-drama hero!" Asuka barked, her voice cracking. She hugged Shinji fiercely, her hands wrapping around his toned pectorals, over his biceps, and down his arms to his knotted, scarred hands. "I just wanted the guy who saved me from the volcano..." Her last statement trailed off into a whisper, echoing in the tiled bathroom of the former Katsuragi residence.

Shinji let out a sigh. "I'm so tired, Asuka," he retorted, his knees beginning to buckle. As the girl nuzzled his spine, the sores ached again. This last battle against the Third Generation Eva Series was tougher than before. They had thought the Mass Production versions, the Second Generation, would be the end of it. But mankind always found a way to build back up again. That was both an inspiring and a depressing fact. "I just don't want to fight anymore." His body flared up in anger, and grabbing the pistol, he pressed the barrel up against his temple, grinding the metal edges against his scalp. "Why can't they make it stop? Why can't it stop?"

Asuka dared not pull away. For all she knew, her hands on his skin, her hair caressing his back, and her breaths echoing in his ears were the only things keeping him from splattering brain matter all over the sink. "Shinji, you're scaring me!" she whimpered. "Please, put it down! I'll... I'll do anything I can! I'll fight with you-" She bit her tongue, remembering the dismemberment she suffered the last time. The Mass Production Units were only getting worse, more violent, and more cunning. Could she honestly keep up? But that wasn't so much of a concern, not when death was closer in that small, immaculate bathroom. "Please?"

Shinji put the gun down in Asuka's outstretched hand. Before she did anything else, the redhead removed the clip, ejected the chambered round, and tossed the whole lot into the trash bin under the sink. Ikari began to protest, until the girl took his hands, and slid them around her body to her hips. She did not want to be used, not in that way, and certainly not for the sake of keeping someone from suicide. However, with the one-sided relationship they had experienced over the months after Instrumentality, there was an unspoken agreement. Asuka found acceptance in the submissive, feminine role, with the knowledge that someday, Shinji would return her kindness. He just had to.

Didn't he?

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This is something to keep you guys entertained, while I finish up all those fanfics I had put on hold before. There is already a second chapter of "Trapped: Plus" ready to go, as well as a start to the next chapter of "Incarnations." As for "Tough", "Twin Fates", "Nine Years", and "Decisions", I need some ideas to get me out of this "that crap won't work!" slump.

Also be advised a Sango x InuYasha fanfic is already in progress (at 5 complete chapters), and I have a new idea for a Full Metal Panic comedy/romance fic (imagine the plotline to "Analyze That", but with Sousuke on a "24" style Japanese drama program, and you'll get the idea).

That is all.

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